Today Doug would be 50 years old. I really wish we could have a party and celebrate him. These days are never easy, no matter how much time has passed. I sometimes get a little angry because I feel like we were robbed of precious time…time that was never guaranteed in the first place. BUT I can celebrate and be grateful because he was born. He was born to my parents and he was my brother.
Happy birthday baby brother! You are loved and missed by your family and so many others.
This is a post that has been in draft form since April 27, 2014. I started drafting this two and a half weeks after my brother Doug entered heaven. I heard this song and it spoke to me after his death.
Sometimes healing is not how we envision healing and sometimes it’s hard to be grateful. It’s easy to shake your fists at God. Then, I lift my hands to believe again . You are my refuge and my strength.
The words still remain true today. There is a healer! His love is deep! He is unfailing!
Today is #worldgratitudeday. What are you thankful for today?
Be still, there is a healer
His love is deeper than the sea
His mercy, it is unfailing
His arms are fortress for the weak
Let faith arise
Let faith arise
I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart
These things, I remember
You are faithful, God, forever
Be still, there is a river
That flows from Calvary's tree
A fountain for the thirsty
Pure grace that washes over me
I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart
These things, I remember
You are faithful, God, forever
Let faith arise, let faith arise
Open my eyes, open my eyes
Let faith arise, let faith arise
Open my eyes, open my eyes
And I lift my hands to believe again
You are my refuge, You are my strength
As I pour out my heart
These things, I remember
You are faithful, God
You are faithful, God, forever
Let faith arise
Let faith arise
Chris Tomlin | I Lift My Hands
This time last year we were anticipating our trip to Barcelona and Lisbon. Excitement for the adventure and time spent with good friends. It was a wonderful trip!
Beauty.
History.
Amazing food.
It didn’t stop there. We went to Los Angeles for our nephew’s wedding in July. Another moment in time where we were able to see a different landscape than where we come from. Spending time with family and friends. Enjoying time away from our every day life.
Birthdays and anniversaries we celebrated in between these epic trips and I got to spend 10 days with my best friends!
We ended our year with a trip to Boston, Rhode Island and Maine. You heard me, New England in December! It was so cold but it was amazing because we saw people we love and that made my heart warm.
Our friend was commissioned as an Officer in the US Navy in Newport RI. It was very special and catching up with friends was so good. I also checked Rhode Island off my states I had never visited as well as Maine 😘The temperature was 15° and the wind coming off the water made it feel colder.
We had dinner in Boston at a restaurant we have had on our Yelp list for a while now. Alma Nove owned by the WaIhberg’s. It was a beautiful restaurant with warm and inviting staff. The food was delicious. A great evening. On the drive there we saw the very first Dunkin’ and had to stop and FaceTime Bernie’s dad because that is his favorite coffee place. Did you know Quincy (Boston) is the birthday of Dunkin’?
Our final destination was Maine to visit our dear friends Faith & Ian, Betty & Joe and Kellie & Lars. This visit was especially sweet. I am so grateful for Faith because last year at Christmas she was fighting for her life. God spared her life and I am so happy because Faith is very special. Love you Faithie!
Faith and Ian took us a little driving tour of the coast. Coastline was amazing. We stopped in to surprise some friends that have been in our life for a very long time. Special people…Betty and Joe. Both of our families have been intertwined for many years and it was great to be able to hug on their necks.
We ended our time with Kellie & Lars. Bernie and Lars have been friends for a long time and even share the same birthday. They have a beautiful home that they are renovating. You should follow Kellie at http://gratefullyvintage.com/ We had a beautiful dinner at The Tiller Restaurant in Ogunquit ME.
It was so good to be able to connect with friends. It was good for my soul. We want to make plans to visit them in the summer.
I ended the year with a cold and cough that has hung on way too long but it was great to spend the holidays with my parents and cousins. I am extremely grateful to my parents for all they do for us especially when they take Luger when we are away. Even though I was sick, Bernie and I were able to see three of the five movies we wanted to see over the holidays.
All this to say is, I have had a very full year with amazing opportunities and I am grateful.
Praying for 2020 as we move forward. Excited to see what God has planned for our family this year.
Today you would’ve turned 48 years old.
2019 also will mark the five year anniversary of you going to heaven! How can that be?! I wonder what your days look like in heaven. I can’t even imagine.
You are so loved Doug! Your fun loving spirit was so infectious…even as a little boy! You were the best brother that God could’ve given to me.
Love you and miss you so much!
My friend Lily, picked 20 women that she cares about and intentionally prayed for each week. A sisterhood, if you will.
She thought - who doesn’t love to receive packages at their door for Christmas. So she prayed for each of us and paired us up. We would receive a coffee mug from someone and also send a little love and encouragement. A simple connection between sisters.
So this morning while enjoying my cup of coffee, I prayed for Lily who arranged this simple gift exchange. A person who loves Jesus and who prays for her friends. I prayed for Jenny Alarcón, my sister who I was paired up with and pray for. I also prayed for Alexa Ponceano who sent me this beautiful mug.
We don’t really know each other but we belong to the family of God so that makes us sisters.
“Every time you cross my mind, I break out in exclamations of thanks to God. Each exclamation is a trigger to prayer. I find myself praying for you with a glad heart.
Philippians 1:3 MSG
#christmasmugsisterexchange2017
The last 12 years I have developed a friendship with Carla and Sunshine that is binding for a lifetime. It’s more than friendship really, we are sisters. Even though many miles separate Sunshine and I from Carla, when we get together it’s like we haven’t been apart.
This kind of friendship is special. It takes time. Our schedules are busy and we all have different jobs and family dynamics but we communicate, build each other up and hold each other accountable!
I am so very grateful that these two ladies (and their families) are in my life.
Here’s to 2018 and all the new adventures!
photo credit: Coda Meeks
It's hard when you are the photographer. You take everyone's photos and you find you don't have any professional photos of you and your family.
A few months ago I thought I would schedule new family photos. It's been about 5 years ago and it was time. Thank you to Hannah for capturing our family! You are amazing. I couldn't be happier!
Photo Credit: www.maryhannahharte.com
Thankful that God sent his son to be born as our Savior! Grateful that we were able to spend this Christmas with family and that my parents live close enough to us that we are able to do that.
I am reminded of those special people who are no longer with us.
I miss my brother so much. He was such a huge personality and he leaves a massive void in our lives. He now celebrates with the Father in heaven. This photo was the last Christmas we spent together four years ago.
This Christmas I also missed my sister-in-law, Melissa. We don’t get to see each other very much but she is still part of our family and I love her very much. #sistersforlife
And then there’s grandma! She was a strong woman who loved the Lord. She also is in heaven. Two years ago we went to Ohio for Christmas to be with Bernie’s family and to spend time with grandma. (It was Bernie’s idea!) I am so glad we did that because she died the following March.
It has been a great day! I hope your Christmas was just as wonderful!
We drove to Ohio for Thanksgiving to be with the Dake/Marshall clan. It is a long drive especially when you have a crazy anxious 70lb German Shepherd in the back seat coupled with standstill traffic! Yikes!
We had a great time being together for the few days we were there. When you are there for just a short time you try to do everything you can in a little bit of time you have.
Thanksgiving 2017
Bruce, Noah, Doris, Ron, Becky, Bernie, Laura & Luger
Wednesday was a great evening spent with Bernie’s siblings, nieces, nephew and grandniece! Our niece Liz and her husband Eric revealed to us that they were having a boy and his name is going to be Nolan Ellis!
We had a lovely Thanksgiving meal served by the hostess of the century...Doris (Mom Dake) with a surprise for Dad...a graham cracker cream pie from his favorite place in Hornell NY. Bruce, Bernie’s brother, was very thoughtful and went out of the way to pick it up. It was a great surprise and we were all able to share it. ;)
Our niece Jen brought over the newest “grand pup” so that Luger could meet him and have a play date. Luger was very good with him and Aspen wasn’t so sure. But someday in the very near future, Aspen will be bigger than Luger. It was so much fun for me. German Shepherd pups are my fav!
We spent half the day in Wooster, first at Sure House coffee with the family. I loved this place! Quant, modern, great coffee and AMAZING #cretzels They are a croissant pretzel filled with chocolate or cinnamon sugar. Oh my! I need to learn how to make those! Later that afternoon we had lunch with our friends Brett & Jessica and their family at Gouda Bar & Grill. Great time catching up. Thankful they had some time to spend with us because they are Salvation Army officers in Ashland OH.
Saturday we left to go back home. We drove all they way taking turns driving. Grateful that we beat the holiday traffic.
All in all a great time with family.
P.S. Thanks for the venison Ed! ;)
P.S.S. I missed my family!
This is my last year in this decade. How did it come so fast? Three years ago...THREE, I spent the week with my brother and sister-in-law. My brother's health had deteriorated quite rapidly since I had seen him the Christmas before. My parents had been staying for weeks at a time but the week of my birthday it was me that was going to help him while Melissa went to work.
We spent precious moments in that little apartment. Quite moments. I watched him constantly. Staring at his chest while he slept. I was afraid that I might not see his chest going up and down. I watched him struggle to do easy tasks. Things that you don't even think about. Do you think about moving your leg before you start walking? I don't. I just start walking. He couldn't do any of it. He would get frustrated and I tried to be the voice of patience. Which quite frankly is hilarious. I am the least patient person.
Because he would get frustrated, we had a pact. We would be patient with each other. Beautiful moments spent together! Being there with him was the greatest gift.
Time though...it doesn't stand still. It is always in a constant forward motion.
There is a song from the musical Wicked that when I here it, tears usually well up in my eyes. It's called For Good. Because I knew Doug and was fortunate enough to love him and be loved by him, I have been changed for the better. The struggle was real and painful but anyone who knew him was changed for the better. He lived out his testimony and because he had a relationship with Jesus, he lives in Heaven today and for always!
It's weird to think I am almost in the next decade. I don't feel old. I guess it's just a number. I cherish my friendship and relationships of those people I get to do life with.
The note Melissa left for me on the bathroom mirror on my birthday.
For Good
I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend...
Because I knew you...
I have been changed for good...
