Forty-four years ago, my brother Doug was born. I remember as my brother was learning to speak that I would answer my mother's questions for my brother. You know, just helping him out. I always wanted to take care of him...make sure he was ok. Our lives were full of crazy times with this guy!

He was funny and had a smile that would light up a room. A beautiful soul inside and out!

He was determined, matter of fact and shared his opinion with you whether you wanted it or not. He was passionate.

He was smart! He could work through a situation and make it happen. He still was proving that to us in the last week of his life. He needed a way to hang a flashlight, even though he didn't need it because we left a light on all the time but in his mind he did and was determined to hang it above his bed with his morphine so he could reach it any time. Bring out the 3M hook, paracord and slip knot so it was adjustable.

He was brave! Let's be honest, I would not have handled being told I had stage 4 Esophageal cancer the way Doug did. I don't know how he did it. Through the coughing, the pain, the sickness, praying that if one person comes to know Christ it will have been worth it.

Today, I miss you just as much as I did April 8th, when you left the people who love you on this earth to enter the arms of Jesus. January 19th will always be the day that we received the beautiful gift that was you! Today is your first birthday in heaven and it's probably the best party you ever received.

I miss you baby brother and I love you so much!!

moth·er
ˈməT͟Hər/

noun: a woman in relation to a child or children to whom she has given birth.
verb: bring up (a child) with care and affection.

Amazing. Caring. Sweet. Sensitive. Giving. Compassionate. Friend. That is my mother. Every one who knows her would agree.

My mother has always been a best friend. One of the hardest days I experienced was the day I moved away from her. We talked all the time. I am so glad that she lives close. I am thankful for wonderful people who made the adjustment to living in a new state seamless. She has a beautiful group of ladies who are close friends. They are accountable to each other and lift each other up in prayer.

My mother is a woman after God's own heart. She cares for people. For years, as long as I can remember she was the League of Mercy Secretary. That title seems to have more meaning to me than Community Care Ministries (a program of the Salvation Army.) It is because of the word "mercy" in the title. My mom showed mercy to the people in the nursing homes that she visited. She showed Jesus to folks that probably sat there day in and day out because their families didn't come to see them. I will tell you it takes a special person to do that. I worked in a nursing home less than a day doing hair for the residents. It paid decent money but there was not enough money in the world for me to do that. I remember going to my mom's office during lunch and cried the whole time. I went back and lasted 40 minutes. It takes someone special!!

My parents always provided for us. Even when the funds weren't in abundance and maybe we didn't have much, I never knew. They always gave God what belonged to him and because of their obedience, God always provided.

Mom always stood up for us and taught us to stand up for ourselves. But we were taught right from wrong as well. If we were wrong you apologized and admited when you were wrong.

My mother has always taken care of us. So gentle. So sweet and caring. My brother would often get car sick. He was the type that would get sick and then be perfectly fine. One time we were on vacation and he got sick and then went into a candy shop. You know the kind. When you walk through the door the smell of pure sugar hits your face and makes you nauseous. Not me! I used to get so mad at Doug for doing that too me. :)

The year was no different. She has shown such love. Mercy. Compassion. Gentleness. This year has been so difficult. I'm so glad my parents were here when we had to put Osa down in February because of failing health. My girl who I took care of and loved for almost 16 years. She cried with us, loved on us and was there for support. It meant so much to me. She knew how much I loved my puppy.

When Doug went on hospice care he found that he wasn't going to get strong and come back and punch cancer in the face. He needed care. So our family rallied to help Melissa so she could still work because their heath benefits were through her. Mom spent a few weeks alone with Doug. Anything he needed, she was there. Giving. No complaints. They would have beautiful conversations about God's presence through this journey, the questions they had for God, life and death, peace and calm. Such a beautiful witness.

Even in the end my mom was amazing to me. She even prayed over Doug during his final hours, unselfishly, for God to take away the awful pain. She gave Doug to Jesus once again.

Mom, I want you to know how much I love you. I know this is going to be a difficult day. I can't begin to know your pain but I hope you will find some "peace and calm" and "cling to Jesus" knowing Doug has been made perfect. He has been divinely healed. He is singing with the angels and he lives with his Heavenly Father. For eternity. Your prayer has already been answered. Remember when you prayed for him to find his way back to Jesus?

Much of this can be said for my father too but this is my Mother's Day. Dad you will have to wait for your day. :)

I love you!