A Story of Hope

A week and a half ago I was taken to the ER by ambulance. I was prescribed what I thought to be a normal antibiotic but my body was not having it. It started to reject it and put me into anaphylactic shock.  

At the hospital the doctors couldn't believe that a simple antibiotic would do this to my body. My white blood count was four times the normal number. Fluids were being pumped into my body by an IV along with Benadryl, nausea medicine etc. A chest X-ray and CAT Scan were also ordered. The ER nurse administered an EPI pen, into my arm and not my leg, and the result was less than favorable. The needle hit the bone and bent. A numbing agent was shot into my arm so they could get the needle out without me screaming my head off. 

Finally around 1am, I was taken to a room so the nurses and doctors could watch over me. They continued to take my vitals and give me fluids. I stayed all day the next day. They wanted me to eat three meals. They wanted to make sure my system was getting back to normal. I was exhausted for the next week. This ordeal zapped the life out of me!

The other part of this story is my husband was out of town in North Carolina and my parents were on vacation in Florida. Luger was home by himself all day long. I was leaving work early because I didn't feel well so my boss thought I was already home. I texted Mrs. Mockabee to tell her what was happening and her secretary, Ruth was still there so she came to my rescue. The Mockabee's turned right around and came back to the office. 

So many people helped us and I can't begin to thank them for being selfless (and I hope I don't leave anyone out. I was out of if for a while.) The Mockabee's who stayed with me until Bernie arrived and saw me at my worst. I owe them a lot! The Westmoreland's for giving Bernie their car so he could drive from NC. Brad and Emma who helped with Luger. Chris and Meagan who came to my house to sit for hours so that Luger wasn't alone. Sunshine who was at the ready, waiting to see where she was needed. Melody Rowland for coming by the hospital to pray with us. The Argot's who provided food for us to eat when we got out of the hospital. There are so many more that I'm sure I don't even know about but especially for the texts, calls and for the prayers. Wow! I am blessed and felt the love. 

On Thursday morning while the nurse was taking out one of the IV's I had in my arm she saw my hope tattoo and said, "that's a nice reminder." I was able to share my testimony and tell her about my brother. I was able to share our story about hope. Even though the outcome wasn't what we wanted for Doug, God's plan is greater. Our hope is in Jesus and Doug now lives in heaven! Praise the Lord! I shared with her the bible reference that Bernie and my father have on their arm...Jeremiah 29:11

Later that morning my nurse Rita, came back to my room with Mara, my day nurse. She asked me what that reference was and she opened the bible app and read it out loud. When she finished she looked up and said, "that is cool."

This  experience was awful and I hope I never experience it again but I am so grateful for the people in my life who love me and for the opportunity to share my story of hope.

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah29:11 [NLT] 

A year already?

April 8, 2014. 1:28am.

I can't believe that Doug has been in heaven for a year! It is insane to think that is possible. A year ago my family sat around my brother's bed, trying to make him comfortable, we laughed, we cried, we had "sleep overs", we joked, we played music, and we prayed. 

It's interesting how your prayers change from, God we beg you for a miracle, for a healing to take place to God take this child because his pain has consumed every part of his physical being.

Some people tell me it will get easier and thinking about him every day will become less painful as the years go by. It is true that this day last year I could not comprehend that I would be where I am today but I have thought about Doug in some way or another, every day! Sometimes it is in the form of laughter. Some through tears! Sadness. Happiness. Thankful that I had 43 years with this soul but the pain is still there. Sometimes it doesn't seem real. But it is SO real. 

Sometimes it is the smallest things that will trigger a memory. I was in Target the other day and at the end of an isle there was a display of small fans. I immediately texted Melissa a picture. Melissa purchased this fan for my brother to keep on the table next to his bed. The air circulating on his face helped keep his breathing under control. The fan was a part of his collection of things he had near him like his flashlight and lip balm. :)

I am most grateful for Doug's testimony and his love for Jesus. The little brother of this big sister prayed for me to be at peace when I wasn't. Prayed for me to not be angry with God. There was a time when Doug was very far away from the love of God. Thank God he was the one not far from Doug. Because of Doug's surrender he lives in heaven today with Jesus. 

Thank you to our faithful family and friends that prayed Doug would see Jesus for who he was. Faithful. Loving. Generous. Forgiving. And...Healer. Not necessarily the way I wanted him to be healed but in God's perfect healing and timing.

I miss you Doug just as much today as the day you left us here on earth. The day you were healed and made perfect. I will never let your memory fade away. I promise! 

April 24, 2015 we are participating in a relay for life at Lilburn Park at 5:00pm. If you would like to contribute to cancer research in honor/memory of Doug, please click on the link to donate. main.acsevents.org/goto/DougHale

Live Out Loud

I wanted to share a really cool story.

On Tuesday of this week my sister Melissa was able to share her testimony with the woman who helped us with the arrangements at the funeral home. She deals with death and families everyday as part of her job.

The day finally arrived. Melissa and Angel went to the crematory. Angel left Melissa and she prayed and cried to God for his sovereignty & goodness.

Angel asked questions about the church Doug and Melissa attended. She liked the music that was played on the slide show during the viewing, like Hillsong, Natalie Grant and All Sons & Daughters. Angel started listening to Christian music. Angel was amazed how we pulled together for Doug as a family and how strong Melissa is. The pain and loss is so deep and raw but Melissa didn't let the opportunity pass by without testifying.

I am so grateful for the years I had with my brother. Even in death his testimony is being lived out. In death, he is still teaching me what faith looks like and what it means to live out loud.

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