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Today is your birthday. Your earthly birthday. The day God chose for you to be gifted to us. We had 43 years celebrating you! Loving you in a very tangible way. With a hug. A kiss. Laughter that was so contagious! A passionate, opinionated, caring individual. God chose 43 years was all that we would have. He didn't want to wait any longer. He wanted you home and so now you celebrate your second birthday in heaven with Him and the people who we love that have also gone on to heaven.
There are days that seem still so unreal that you aren't here. I can't call you to hear your voice. To tell you how much I love you! To tell you that you are the best baby brother a sister could ever have. You are missed more than I have words to express but I have memories that will never be taken away from me. Even near the end, I can recall things that you said and did that make me laugh out loud. I love Doug! Forever in my heart!
Thirsty
I'e been wanting to share a moment I had this weekend. I'm finally able to jot down my thoughts.
On Saturday morning I was the photographer for the Territorial Men's Conference for the Salvation Army Southern Territory. It is strange being at a conference when you are one of three women but I had a job to do.
The speaker for the conference was Jonathan Evans. He was a college football player and was signed by the Dallas Cowboys. He is the chaplain for the Dallas Cowboys, co-chaplain with his father Tony Evans of the Dallas Mavericks and a Christian author, speaker and pastor. You may be familiar with his sister Priscilla Shirer.
Sometimes when you are behind the camera, you are concentrating on capturing the moment and you aren't paying attention to what the speaker is actually talking about. I was sitting on the front row in the chapel. I know he was speaking about Moses and the Israelites in the wilderness. He was talking about being thirsty. You know, when you are so thirsty that a coke or any other kind of drink won't quench your thirst. Water is the only drink that can satisfy that thirst.
As I sat on the FRONT row, in that moment I thought of my brother. As he was dying, he would often tell us how thirsty he was. He had cancer that was taking over his body and shutting it down. He couldn't swallow very well. He was SO thirsty! He would suck on little sponge lollipops but even then the little bit of water that came off that sponge, couldn't get it past his throat. He would say, "I want my thirst quenched." It is very difficult to watch someone you love so much, in so much need and something as simple as a drink of water you couldn't provide.
I was fighting back tears but I couldn't make them stop. Being the photographer you are always on the move, so I gathered up my cameras and made my way to the balcony where my husband was and so I could let the tears flow freely.
Later that weekend I talked to my good friend Judy who understands the cancer journey. She said that Doug's thirst has been quench by The Living Water himself. Jesus took care of his thirst for eternity.
I am grateful that God gave me the best brother I could have ever imagined. I don't understand why He wanted Doug more in heaven than I wanted him on earth but I know that Doug lives with Jesus in heaven today and for eternity. That is the greatest gift.
“Jesus said, “Anyone who drinks the water I give will never thirst-not ever. The water I give will be an artesian spring within, gushing fountains of endless life.” ”
Two years?
Where has the time gone? Two years, how can that be?
There still isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you. Sometimes it still doesn't feel real. The other day I was thinking about you and then reality hit me that I will never see you in the flesh again. You aren't just a phone call away.
The legacy of your life lives on through the people that love you. You were a living testimony and I talk about you to people and I share your testimony.
Tomorrow will be a day of mixed emotions. There will be sadness because we miss you so much. There is also rejoicing because two years ago you met Jesus. Face to face. What could be better than that?
April 8 is a significant day in the Dake house. We are bringing our German shepherd puppy, Luger home after two years of Osa has being gone. We will be together getting to know our pup and reminiscing about you. There was never a dull moment with you. We are better people because of having you in our lives so there will be tears and laughter.
I miss you Doug! I am so lucky to have had you as my brother. You were simply the best!
Photo credit: Digital Memories by Debbie Koehler
grace upon grace
Photo credit: lauradake
#GivingTuesday | Warby Parker
I love fashion...clothes, shoes, jewelry and accessories. If you've ever seen my walk-in closet you would know. ;)
I especially like companies that have a pay it forward message. I have already posted about The Giving Keys.
I also love Warby Parker. Buying glasses/sunglasses should be a fun experience. You can pick out five frames online and try them on at home. They send them to you in a box and after five days you place the prepaid return label and send them back to Warby Parker. Order your new glasses online and in days they are delivered to you door.
These statistics are taken from the Warby Parker website, almost one billion people worldwide lack access to glasses, which means 15% of the world's population cannot effectively learn or work. To help this problem, for every pair of glasses sold a pair is distributed to someone in need.
Consider giving back to those who are less fortunate not just today..the day someone has called #GivingTuesday but every day. As one of my other favorites say...need has no season. #thesalvationarmy
Through it all
Today was the wedding anniversary of Doug + Melissa. I remember how beautiful that day was. A gorgeous fall day in Virginia. Perfect.
Fast forward to today. No one...I mean NO ONE ever thought that a few short years later the Lord would call Doug home, to live with him in Heaven. Who on their wedding day thinks that you won't have a lifetime together, having a family, traveling the world together, growing old together with this person you love more than anything? But here we are. Wishing we had more time with our husband, son and brother. Making memories and growing old together as a family.
This morning, I was listening to Bethel and one of my favorite songs came on called It is Well. I have to believe and trust that God knows better than me his perfect plan. I am so happy that Doug knew the love of Jesus and trusted him.
Listen to this song. Continue to pray for our family.
For Good...
We went to NJ and NYC for the weekend for a wedding of very good friends. I should say family! Sunday was a free day. We took advantage of being near NYC so we went to the Gershwin Theatre to watch Wicked...on Broadway! It was so good, amazing seats and great company. There is something about watching a show on Broadway.
Have you ever seen Wicked? This is the precursor to the story of the Wizard of Oz. One of my favorite songs is called For Good. It is a farewell song between Glinda (the good witch) and Elphaba (the wicked witch of the west.) I sat there in the theatre with tears streaming down my cheeks. I have been thinking about Doug. It has been a year and 5 months. Hardly believable! The words struck a chord in my heart. Especially the second verse.
I've heard it said, that people come into our lives
for a reason bringing something we must learn.
And we are led to those who help us most to grow, if we let them.
And we help them in return.
Like a comet pulled from orbit, As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder, halfway through the wood.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better, but because I knew you.
I have been changed for good.
It well may be, that we will never meet again
In this lifetime so, let me say before we part,
So much of me is made of what I learned from you.
You'll be with me, like a handprint on my heart.
And now whatever way our stories end, I know you have rewritten mine
By being my friend.
Like a ship blown from it's mooring by a wind off the sea.
Like a seed dropped by a sky bird in a distant wood.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better
But because I knew you...I have been changed for good.
This person. My brother. My friend taught me so much especially the last few years of his young life. He especially taught me how important faith is. That our hope lies in Our Father Jesus who created us in his image. I will never forget my brother telling me we need to pray for peace and I told him I wasn't at peace. I was upset with God for wanting him more than I did. In that moment Doug prayed for me.
My heart is forever marked by Doug's handprint BUT more important is the mark on my heart from God's own hand.
Photo Credit: lauradake
New York Skyline | Eagle Rock Reservation 9-11 Memorial
Always Hope
I love when I open the vrsly app to see what the word or phrase of the day is and it's the word hope.
I claim it everyday.
I'm not talking about hoping to get everything on my Wishlist that's a mile long, or hoping for the perfect job or hoping my dreams of travel to here or there come true, or hoping I get the best shot that gets me lots of likes on Instagram. Even when I hoped and prayed he would get better...I hoped God would answer my prayer. Selfishly.
When people disappoint, when you don't have the finances, when the flesh fails and there's nothing left, we have hope in a living Jesus, who calms our spirit and gives us courage to face whatever challenge.
Jesus always takes care of us.
Provides.
Loves.
He answers our prayers. His timing is perfect and when we get to Heaven all the pieces will fit together.
The Giving Keys...HOPE
The Giving Keys is such a cool concept. You wear and embrace the words on these keys and then when the time is right you pay it forward to someone who needs the message more than you.
My key says HOPE. It is a word we embraced as a family during Doug's journey with cancer. It was a long journey but Doug said if one person came to know Christ through his experience than it would have been worth the journey. God healed Doug, not the way we wanted. We wanted to experience much more life making so many more memories. We love and miss him so much and there is a void left that can't be filled by anyone else, but God healed Doug...perfectly healed!
Doug lives in heaven with Jesus today and I have a hope...we all have a HOPE! One day, I too will live with Jesus, perfectly healed from my own imperfections!
