New Year's Eve 2016

I can't believe another year has flown by. This year we were able to take a couple of trips and see friends. We planned a trip to New York with friends and we saw Hamilton...on broadway. The boys also bought us tickets to see Waitress The Musical. We also had the opportunity to travel to Hawaii. God was very generous with beauty when he created the islands. We have been very fortunate. 

Here are my top nine photos from instagram.  

There are plenty of things I want to do or change and I will definitely be working on those areas of my life. I read someone's blog that I follow and she wrote this quote from Oprah Winfrey, "We can’t become what we need to be by remaining what we are.” I don't like change but I recognize that if we don't make some changes we only stay the same.

So here's to 2017!

A Story of Hope

A week and a half ago I was taken to the ER by ambulance. I was prescribed what I thought to be a normal antibiotic but my body was not having it. It started to reject it and put me into anaphylactic shock.  

At the hospital the doctors couldn't believe that a simple antibiotic would do this to my body. My white blood count was four times the normal number. Fluids were being pumped into my body by an IV along with Benadryl, nausea medicine etc. A chest X-ray and CAT Scan were also ordered. The ER nurse administered an EPI pen, into my arm and not my leg, and the result was less than favorable. The needle hit the bone and bent. A numbing agent was shot into my arm so they could get the needle out without me screaming my head off. 

Finally around 1am, I was taken to a room so the nurses and doctors could watch over me. They continued to take my vitals and give me fluids. I stayed all day the next day. They wanted me to eat three meals. They wanted to make sure my system was getting back to normal. I was exhausted for the next week. This ordeal zapped the life out of me!

The other part of this story is my husband was out of town in North Carolina and my parents were on vacation in Florida. Luger was home by himself all day long. I was leaving work early because I didn't feel well so my boss thought I was already home. I texted Mrs. Mockabee to tell her what was happening and her secretary, Ruth was still there so she came to my rescue. The Mockabee's turned right around and came back to the office. 

So many people helped us and I can't begin to thank them for being selfless (and I hope I don't leave anyone out. I was out of if for a while.) The Mockabee's who stayed with me until Bernie arrived and saw me at my worst. I owe them a lot! The Westmoreland's for giving Bernie their car so he could drive from NC. Brad and Emma who helped with Luger. Chris and Meagan who came to my house to sit for hours so that Luger wasn't alone. Sunshine who was at the ready, waiting to see where she was needed. Melody Rowland for coming by the hospital to pray with us. The Argot's who provided food for us to eat when we got out of the hospital. There are so many more that I'm sure I don't even know about but especially for the texts, calls and for the prayers. Wow! I am blessed and felt the love. 

On Thursday morning while the nurse was taking out one of the IV's I had in my arm she saw my hope tattoo and said, "that's a nice reminder." I was able to share my testimony and tell her about my brother. I was able to share our story about hope. Even though the outcome wasn't what we wanted for Doug, God's plan is greater. Our hope is in Jesus and Doug now lives in heaven! Praise the Lord! I shared with her the bible reference that Bernie and my father have on their arm...Jeremiah 29:11

Later that morning my nurse Rita, came back to my room with Mara, my day nurse. She asked me what that reference was and she opened the bible app and read it out loud. When she finished she looked up and said, "that is cool."

This  experience was awful and I hope I never experience it again but I am so grateful for the people in my life who love me and for the opportunity to share my story of hope.

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah29:11 [NLT] 

Thirsty

I'e been wanting to share a moment I had this weekend. I'm finally able to jot down my thoughts.

On Saturday morning I was the photographer for the Territorial Men's Conference for the Salvation Army Southern Territory. It is strange being at a conference when you are one of three women but I had a job to do.

The speaker for the conference was Jonathan Evans. He was a college football player and was signed by the Dallas Cowboys. He is the chaplain for the Dallas Cowboys, co-chaplain with his father Tony Evans of the Dallas Mavericks and a Christian author, speaker and pastor. You may be familiar with his sister Priscilla Shirer.

Sometimes when you are behind the camera, you are concentrating on capturing the moment and you aren't paying attention to what the speaker is actually talking about. I was sitting on the front row in the chapel. I know he was speaking about Moses and the Israelites in the wilderness. He was talking about being thirsty.  You know, when you are so thirsty that a coke or any other kind of drink won't quench your thirst. Water is the only drink that can satisfy that thirst.

As I sat on the FRONT row, in that moment I thought of my brother. As he was dying, he would often tell us how thirsty he was. He had cancer that was taking over his body and shutting it down. He couldn't swallow very well. He was SO thirsty! He would suck on little sponge lollipops but even then the little bit of water that came off that sponge, couldn't get it past his throat. He would say, "I want my thirst quenched." It is very difficult to watch someone you love so much, in so much need and something as simple as a drink of water you couldn't provide.

I was fighting back tears but I couldn't make them stop. Being the photographer you are always on the move, so I gathered up my cameras and made my way to the balcony where my husband  was and so I could let the tears flow freely.

Later that weekend I talked to my good friend Judy who understands the cancer journey. She said that Doug's thirst has been quench by The Living Water himself. Jesus took care of his thirst for eternity.

I am grateful that God gave me the best brother I could have ever imagined. I don't understand why He wanted Doug more in heaven than I wanted him on earth but I know that Doug lives with Jesus in heaven today and for eternity. That is the greatest gift.

“Jesus said, “Anyone who drinks the water I give will never thirst-not ever. The water I give will be an artesian spring within, gushing fountains of endless life.” ”

— John 4:14 The Message

#lifewithLuger | Growing Up Fast

Life with Luger is awesome. Challenging. Frustrating. Beautiful. He knows how to push my buttons and pull my strings and then he wants to be close to you. Cuddle with you. Fall asleep near you. Love you!

It's hard not to compare him to Osa. Let's be honest, it's hard not calling him Osa. She was with us for so many years. I do it all the time ;) He has his own personality and I love him more every day. He is definitely all boy as I have heard so many mother's say who have boys. My mother said the other day, if my brother came first I may never have come to being. ;)

He is growing so fast. My parents had him last week while we were out of town and I couldn't believe how much he grew. We take him Friday to the vet and it will be interesting to see how much more he weighs from the last time, which was three weeks ago.

It's nice having a furry kid back in our house!

#lifewithLuger | Week 1

Well, we survived week one with Luger. It has been an adjustment for all of us. Sleep deprived. Running around making sure he does get into something he shouldn't. Or do something inside that should be done outside. Puppies cannot be trusted. 😜

Life for Luger has been turned upside down. He was one of ten puppies. For eight weeks he has been with his siblings and breeder. Then one day he was taken from his surroundings, all he knows. We are working through separation anxiety. He is very attached to me. My little shadow which is awesome because I love him already but he doesn't like the crate because he knows that we will be leaving him. So that is our challenge! Other than that, he is a good boy and we are happy to have him as part of our family. 

Two years?

Where has the time gone? Two years, how can that be?  

There still isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you. Sometimes it still doesn't feel real. The other day I was thinking about you and then reality hit me that I will never see you in the flesh again. You aren't just a phone call away. 

The legacy of your life lives on through the people that love you. You were a living testimony and I talk about you to people and I share your testimony.  

Tomorrow will be a day of mixed emotions. There will be sadness because we miss you so much. There is also rejoicing because two years ago you met Jesus. Face to face. What could be better than that? 

April 8 is a significant day in the Dake house. We are bringing our German shepherd puppy, Luger home after two years of Osa has being gone. We will be together getting to know our pup and reminiscing about you. There was never a dull moment with you. We are better people because of having you in our lives so there will be tears and laughter.

I miss you Doug! I am so lucky to have had you as my brother. You were simply the best! 

Photo credit: Digital Memories by Debbie Koehler

Prayers

Last night my 98 year old grandmother had a heart attack. When I scheduled a post for Ministry Toolkit yesterday I had no idea that my prayer last night would be to sincerely pray...Dear Lord, your will be done.

Some would say she has lived a long and happy life and I would agree but I'm selfish and I don't want God to take her just yet. I love this woman! She is a wonderful Christian lady who loves the Lord with all her heart. She has lived a very long life and probably out live the rest of us in terms of years on this earth.

I am grateful that we saw her at Christmas. As you get that old you fear the days are numbered. Today, as a granddaughter, I pray for healing and restoration of her weaken body but I will continue to pray that the Lord's will be done because He knows best.

UPDATE: Monday 3-3
Bernie's parents visited Grandma and they said she has been sitting up, had lunch, she alert and interactive. The doctor has described her as having a mild heart attack and will have a catheter placed tomorrow at 10am. Please be in prayer for this dear lady and our family.

Two years...

2014 was one of the hardest years I have experienced in my life. It was full of loss. Learning how to pick up the pieces and go on with life because life doesn't stop. The grieving process begins.

Two years ago on this day Osa crossed the rainbow bridge as they say. I like to think that she is in heaven. :) My heart was so broken but I knew that I did everything in my power to give her the best life she deserved. She lived a long life according to German Shepherd standards and she couldn't have been loved any more than she was. 

We miss her so much. We remember you everyday. We we always love you sweet girl!

grace upon grace

Photo credit: lauradake

Happy Birthday Doug!

Today is Doug's birthday. I imagine we would have had a huge celebration for the milestone of 45 years. Instead, my parents and I will have dinner together and probably share stories of this individual that infiltrated our hearts and lives forever. My words will be inadequate for the love that I feel for Doug but I will do my best.

Forty-Five years ago God blessed this family with Doug. Douglas Edward Hale III. Three years younger than me. I always felt the need to take care of him and speak for him as he was learning. As you grow up you learn understand that you can't do everything for them but you have to learn things on your own. 

One time, as part of a bible study group, I was asked to write down three characteristics of my immediate family. I wrote these words December 9, 2013. The three words I chose for my brother were...Brave, Funny, Determined.

He was BRAVE. He took cancer head on and knew that he need to rely on God's strength. Some days were harder than others. Some days he had questions and felt like he wasn't getting answers. God had answers and they weren't the answers I wanted to hear but God's plan is greater. I know without a doubt that Doug boldly approached the throne of God on April 8, 2014.

He was FUNNY. He made me laugh. He had a smirky smile that you couldn't help but laugh and smile yourself. I remember having laughing fits at the dinner table that would totally get us into trouble. I'm sure he always started it because he always was an instigator. I still look at his pictures and I still smile even though sometimes it is through tears because I miss him so much.

He was DETERMINED. He had opinions and he was determined for you to hear them. He knew how to do so many things. He was smart and knowledgeable. He knew what he wanted and nothing held him back from getting it. He was determined to win souls to Christ and cancer pushed him even more to get that message across. He was determined to be faithful to God through ANY circumstance.

There is a song entitled And Can It Be, every time I hear these words I can't contain the emotion. I always wonder what it was like when Doug approached the throne clothed in righteousness and with boldness to claim his crown. 

“No condemnation now I dread; Jesus, and all in Him, is mine;
Alive in Him, my living Head, And clothed in righteousness divine,
Bold I approach th’eternal throne, And claim the crown, through Christ my own.”

— Charles Wesley, 1738

I love you Doug! I miss you as much today as the day you left this earth. You will always be in my heart and your memory and testimony is etched deep in my brain. Thank you God for giving us this special gift in Doug! Our lives have been forever changed because we knew him.

Photo Credit: Family Photo taken by http://www.digitalmemoriesdk.com/